1:06:47

This past Saturday, I participated in Event #2 of the Highmark Quad Games. I bettered last year's time by almots 3 minutes! In the overall competition, after two events (the Swim race in April and the Bike Race in July) I am placed 249 of 294 participants. Note that #248 is a co-worker's 10 year old son who is ahead by 14 seconds.

I Must Be Deaf

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." (C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain)

Weekend Warrior

Monday through Friday, I wage battles against rising healthcare costs and office politics. Then a truce is called on Saturday and Sunday. But then, for me, I enter a new war zone...the war for my thoughts.

During the work week my mind is preoccupied with Purchase Orders, staff problems, etc. On the weekends I have the time to rethink and re-rethink all that happened - the disresepectful employee, the rude cooworker, the slights from my superiors - and I get angry. The hurt I was able to put aside the other days rises up and takes over my thoughts.

Trying to flee the temptation of anger, resentment and disatisfaction is exhausting. Many self-help books tell me to keep busy, keep my mind off of these things. But isnt that what gets me in trouble in the first place - keeping my mind off these things? So how do I deal with this?

I though weekends were supposed to be relaxing and fun.

Adopted

I was reading an old journal entry where one of the Barblings had asked me if I was a friend or family. I replied that I was a friend since I wasn't a blood relative, when their mom came in the room and corrected me saying that Barbling #1 wasn't a blood relative either (she's adopted) and she's family.

It's no secret that I would love to have a child of my own but during a conversation with a friend I confided that I was also afraid that if I did have my own child that all the other children in my life would feel they'd been replaced, and I would never want them to think that. I couldn't love a Barbling, et al any more if they were my very own.

This is how God, my Father, views me. "For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out,"Abba! Father!" The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God..." (Romans 8:14-16).

Some days, when I think of the children in my life I'm filled with such love my heart feels like it will explode. If anyone tried to do anything to hurt them I could easily become violently protective. I would run in to a burning building, jump in to a raging river, throw myself in front of a bullet for any and all of them.

Today I realized that my heavenly Father feels the same towards me. It was through Christ's death that I became a "blood" relative. I might be one of His billions of children, but He knows my name, remembers my birthday, etc. His heart fills to the point of explosion at the thought of me (!?!), and He threw Himself in to the line of fire for me.

...because family sticks together.

A New Cause for Insomnia

I've been trying to improve my nutritional habits. Of late, I've been eating a healthy breakfast and stopping eating 2 hours before bedtime.

I haven't slept in 72 hours!!!!

Sunday Haiku

Singing hymns of worship and thanks and feeling like a liar.

Barb & the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

The weather today is very hot and humid. Work was busy, with people demanding things of me right and left. I left work late, stopped for a few necessary groceries at the crowded grocery store. When I arrived home I found my home had been vandalized.

These vandals were especially heinous and brazen. They signed their work and included their children in on their vicious act!

Walking on Clouds

During my trip to Toronto I went to the top of the CN Tower. At the Lookout level (the larger round area) there is an area with a glass floor. Note my feet to the left.

How SMART is This?

During my recent trip to Toronto, I got to see a Smart Car up close and personal. The BIKE is almost as big as the CAR. The Smart Car would get even better gas mileage in Erie because it would sit in the garage all winter. It couldn't drive over a snowball!

You Can Thank Me Later

From an article on Birth Order...

Youngest: The youngest child tends to be the most creative and can be very charming -- even manipulative. Because they often identify with the underdog, they tend to champion egalitarian causes. (Youngest siblings were the earliest backers of the Protestant Reformation and the Enlightenment.)

Tick Tock

"Quiet minds cannot be perplexed or frightened but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm."

Robert Louis Stevenson

Does This Make Sense?

I recently got a haircut. I don't like stiff, "formal" hairstyles, so in order to get the right amount of "messy" casualness I have to:

1. Blow dry with a Large Round Brush to give my hair some volume.

2. Use a Flat Iron to remove all waves

3. Use a Curling Iron on my bangs to give some bend to the ends.

So, I curl my hair to flatten it to curl it, just to wind up pulling my hair back in a pony tail by the end of the work day.

Why It's Hard to Be Single

One of the reasons I find it difficult being single is when I've had a bad day - at work, wherever, whatever - there's no one to come home to to tell about it. Someone else might offer me words of encouragement or just distract me with conversation about their day. At least I wouldn't be quietly alone with my own thoughts, dwelling on whatever happened.

NOTE: I know marriage offers no certainty of anything. But this post is just to let others know how singleness feels

This Little Light (Bulb) of Mine

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only 1. Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal : 10. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic : None. Use candles only

Baptists: At least 100. One to change the light bulb, 55 to sing a spiritual about the light bulb and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken

Episcopalians : 3. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormon : 5. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians :We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we wil l explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid parts to luminescence.

Methodists : Undetermined**Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb , or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene : 6 One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans : None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish :What's a light bulb?

A Baking Haiku

Grandious Tea Party idea

Sticky crumbly mess

Petit fours dans le sabot

Neither Snow Nor Rain Norr Heat Nor Gloom of Night

Yesterday I mailed some DVDs back to Netflix. I received email notice this morning at 7:07 am that they'd been received. Less than 24 hours from the time the DVDs were picked up from my mailbox to the time they were delivered and scanned in to Netflix's system.

How did they do that?

It usually takes a minimum of two days for an item sent by me to be delivered to my Dad in Pittsburgh, the same location of the Netflix depot.

And when did the USPS start delivering before 8:00 am???

Plagarism

I did not take these pictures. The photographer was my friend Ellie. But because some of you do not subscribe to her blog I thought I'd share them with you here.

The Car in The Garage

Warning: This post has a decidedly female bent. Men, you've been warned.

I recently had my annual gynecological exam and everything was fine. Due to past history, this exam included a sonogram to view my reproductive organs and everything was deemed to be in excellent condition.

The images were amazing. I've had a number of ultrasounds before but never was I able to view things in this fine a detail. I saw my uterus, my one remaining ovary, and even a few eggs, which the technician said were "quite healthy looking".

Here I've got this vehicle that is inspected annually and certified to be in great working order yet it sits unused in the garage until next year's inspection. It seems like a waste and I can't think of any reason why God is allowing this to happen.

I can recall a number of biblical examples where someone was expected to do more than it seemed they were able (Moses vs Pharaoh, David vs Goliath, etc) but none where one was expected to do less.

There are many books and articles written for women who hear their "biological clocks ticking" but they're addressed to women who postponed motherhood for career. I didn't postpone anything; in fact it appears it hasn't even been postponed but denied.

Leading up to the exam, I actually hoped the doctor might find something wrong; this would have given me some reason for my single and barren state. Maybe I'd even have a fatal illness that would end all my emotional pain. While other women might be celebrating their confirmation of health, I'm confused and grieving the the children that never will be.

For Book Lovers Everywhere

"The worst thing about new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones."

-John Wooden

Barbling 4 (Legs)

It's official. All Barblings have had sleepovers at Miss Barb's, including the 4-legged one. Daisy spent the weekend with Grace, Dora and I. But unlike the other Barblings, she seemed a bit homesick. Maybe it was because this sleepover did not include a trip to DairyQueen.

Daisy wasn't totally unhappy, though. She preferred to eat Dora's food so she got a bit of a treat there. And Dora preferred Daisy's food, so no one went hungry. In addition, since I have a fenced in yard, she was able to romp around in the snow unleashed.

A note to Mom & Dad: she did not jump on the furniture or sneak up the steps. Unlike Barblings 1-3, she maintained her good behaviour, despite the bad influence of Grace and Dora and the spoilings of Miss Barb.