Monday, January 30, 2006

Why I Blog, Part III

A Thought Went Up My Mind To-Day

A thought went up my mind to-day
That I have had before,
But did not finish,--some way back,
I could not fix the year,

Nor where it went, nor why it came
The second time to me,
Nor definitely what it was,
Have I the art to say.

But somewhere in my soul, I know
I've met the thing before;
It just reminded me--'t was all--
And came my way no more.

-Emily Dickinson

I feel a need to document my thoughts and feelings lest I forget them and they leave me forever. This seemed like a logical place to keep them. As much as I like pen to paper, I have a tendency to misplace my notebooks. It's hard to misplace my computer!

Saturday, January 28, 2006

A Glance in the Mirror

The other day when I came home from work, I was fuming! I was upset with my staff and my coworkers. Despite their umpteen years of experience they continued to perform tasks the easy way - their way, not the correct way. After a 1-1/2 years of encouraging, cajoling and directing them, they still did not listen to me - their boss. And I was seeing red. It was at that point the Spirit reminded me that despite my umpteen years as a Christian, I continue to perform things my way. Despite His years of encouraging, cajoling and directing me, I still do not listen to Him - THE BOSS. Oops. Seeing my own reflection in the actions of my employees does not condone or justify their actions. Nor does it require me to ignore their shortcomings. I have a responsibility to my employer to manage our department properly and address their perfomance issues. Even if it means they can "throw things back in my face". But this incident reminds me of:
  • God's amazing ability to take every moment of my life to sanctify me
  • The tremendous responsibilty I feel being the boss is overseen and carried by God; I need only obey.
  • Life is full of "Oops's", but God forgives; and His is an example of how I'm to react to my staff.

Friday, January 20, 2006


My days seem to be so much of the same. Monday through Friday I work. Monday and Wednesday evenings I have class. Tuesday nights are Bible Study and Sunday is church. Somewhere between all these items I take care of dogs, clean, grocery shop, etc.

As I progress through each week, I feel the ground under me slowly give way, steadily eroding. I'm in more than a rut or a gully; more like a crevice with ever rising walls around me.

Where is the way out? What manner of "excitement" can energize me to climb up and away from this pit?

Monday, January 09, 2006

A Report from the Resolution Battleground

It's been a little over a week since I made my stand against New Year's Resolutions and so far I've been winning the battle. However, it has been a battle. The temptation to give in just a little has threatened to take me prisoner once again. During the occasional cease fire I've thought about the word resolution. Re-Solution? Is it any wonder that I make the same resolutions year after year after year? I'm always trying to re-solve the same bad habits and vices. Since I've declared my war, my house has been cleaned, but not spotless. I've eaten a few healthier meals. I've decluttered a drawer or two. But not because these are items on a list somewhere (even if only on my mental list). I'm just taking things one day at a time. But isn't that how any soldiers in a war live? They leave the battle plan to their Officers and just obey orders from the Commanders. That's what I'm trying to do.