Monday, November 28, 2005

A "Seinfeld" Post

Like "Seinfeld" this post is about nothing. I can't stand those Automatic Hand Dryer-blower things. They never do a good job. I shake and rub my hands under the stream of hot air only to find myself wiping my still wet hands on my pant legs. At this point, as good hygiene goes, I was probably better off not washing my hands at all. But yesterday, I found the POWER BLASTER or some similar name in the Ladies Room at Sheetz. The darned thing nearly blew the ring off my finger and my hands were dry in seconds! Another reason I highly recommend Sheetz. They also make great onion rings and pretty good nachos, too.

Friday, November 25, 2005

My Altar Ego

Today, I was the last person to leave the office. I was the last car in the parking lot as the evening got colder and darker. And of course, the parking lot is in a not-so-great part of town, located about 3 blocks from a prison pre-release center. I inserted the key in the ignition, the car started and died. I turned the key again and the same thing happened, and happened again, and happened again.

Rather than walk the dark parking lot back to the office, I figured it would be easier and safer to walk the half block to McDonald's and use the pay phone outside to call my brother. The phone ate my 50 cents - twice - without completing the calls. Therefore, I had to walk the 2 block back to the office through the cold dark night. Did I mention that I work a few blocks from a prison pre-release center? I called my brother who said he'd come down to help. I walked back to the car (remember - dark, cold night; prison pre-release center) to wait for him. It only took him about 25 minutes to get to me but during that time I struggled to not feel sorry for myself. Continue reading this post, to find out if I was successful in my struggle.

I feel most helpless, lonely and single when I have car troubles. I've done a pretty good job of taking care of myself all these years. I can cook, clean, mow grass, shovel snow, balance a checkbook, and even rewire a lamp. I own and know how to use some power tools. Professionally, I'm very good at what I do. Therefore, I feel I'm well within my rights to NOT have to know anything about cars.

It's not that I'm not capable of understanding the mechanics of an engine, I don't think I should have to know them. That's a man's job. And since there is no man in my life, I feel I've received the short end of the gear shift.

Calling anybody for help I feel I'm inconveniencing them. Actually, it's not just a feeling, but a fact - I AM inconveniencing them. Spouses have an expectation of being cared for; single friends and family members come second...or lower.

I was reading a blog post by Carolyn McCulley where she quoted her pastor, Joshua Harris as saying "A single woman should feel honored and cherished in this church whether or not she has a boyfriend." When I have to take care of car issues - repairs, oil changes, even scraping or brushing off the ice and snow - I don't feel cherished. And when I have to ask for help, I feel bothersome.

The logical answer to handling car problems would be to get a AAA membership and also make sure my cell phone is fully charged so I don't get in situations where I'm stranded alone in cold, dark parking lots. But I don't want to be logical. I spend too much of my days being logical, and always having to think and plan. I want to be cherished. I want to be #1 to someone. I want someone else to do the thinking, especially where cars are concerned.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Aladdin's Lamp

Despite knowing otherwise, I often find myself thinking that God is like Aladdin's genie - He's allotted me a limited number of answers to prayer. Then I worry that I've used up my allottment on petty things like "Please God, help me find my keys" or "Dear Lord, let me get a parking space close to the office" and so I'll never get any really BIG things. Like Aladdin and his genie, this thinking is fantasy. Described more appropriately, it's a big fat lie! Unfortunately, I tend to enjoy the fantasies. Aladdin may have only had three wishes, but he also only had to rub that magic lamp. He didn't have to wait long for his wish to be fullfilled. And therein lies the problem. I lack the patience. I lack the faith to wait. It doesn't take much faith to rub a lamp. You dont' really risk anything. And if anyone makes fun of you for doing something so childish as rub a lamp, you can always say you were just cleaning it not wishing on it. Prayer takes faith, and faith

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Why I Blog - Part II

My life and many of my relationships are quite compartmentalized. There's my professional life, my family, friends, church, neighbors, and classmates, to name some. Although some of these relationships intersect (some friends and church, for instance) there are still lines drawn around many. Therefore, many of my conversations are compartmentalized, as well (except for my dogs - I speak about them to everyone...whether people want to hear or not). Here on my blog, I'm free to discuss whatever topic I want. I don't have to worry if people are interested in what I have to say. If they aren't interested in my thoughts, they don't have to read. Additionally, maybe this blog will open up some borders and develop deeper relationships. I might also develop new friends and acquaintances , should my audience grow.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

My Great Great-Niece

No I don't have a stutter. My great-niece really is great. Actually, according to her birth certificate, she's Best. But don't take my word for it, see for yourself.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Writer's Block

WC Fields was right. Children and animals are distractions. And so to divert you from my current state of writer's block, may I present to you Dora (the black dog) and Grace (the white dog).

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I Need a Hug

I have literally read hundreds of books, articles, blurbs and quotes about singleness and I never once recall any of those hundreds of thousands of words addressing an unmarried person’s need for physical affection. And by physical affection, I am not referring to sex. I’m referring to a friendly hug, a kiss on the cheek, a hand on my shoulder.

I don’t know if this is an issue for other single people and I also realize that this might be an issue for married persons, but I know it’s an issue for me. And I’m single. So that’s my point of reference.

I don’t come from an overly “huggy” family, but we don’t skimp on affection, either. However, my mother is dead and the rest of my (biological) family lives in other cities, so access to their hugs is limited. Therefore, I’m at the mercy of my church family - my sisters and even brothers in Christ for some outward display of tenderness and friendship. If it weren’t for all my little friends under the age of twelve, I could go months without feeling the touch of another human being. Unless, that is, you include handshakes with those I deal with professionally. Personally, I don’t think they count.

My nephew and his wife recently welcomed their first child. My favorite picture of my great-niece is one where she is only a few hours old, sleeping with her mother's bare arms wrapped around her bare back, her soft cheek resting on her mother's bare shoulder. There is a look of total relaxation in her tiny young face. I can imagine the comfort and security she is feeling with that skin to skin sensation. Until a few hours before, all she knew was a total physical connection to her mother, but now she'll only experience it when her mother chooses. (She need not worry, though. I think her mom choose it alot. But that's for another blog)

God created us as sensual beings - that is, referring to our senses. He gave us sight, smell, speech, hearing, and feeling. We’ve got this amazing nervous system that is able to communicate simple touches to our brains and translate them in to messages of love. Often, when Jesus healed the sick, He touched them in the process. Now surely, being God, He could have healed them without actually touching them, so there must have been some other reason. Perhaps they needed the physical sensation of His love.

Both Peter and Paul speak of greeting others with a kiss. I’d settle for a simple pat on the back or hand on my arm. Now, I don’t expect my vast blog audience to rush me and sweep me off my feet with loving embraces the next time they see me. I don’t even expect a magic transformation of your normal physical reserve or reticence. I’m just asking you to maybe consider to possibly think that you might offer some physical display of affection to me or another sensory-deficient person. Take a chance. I might even hug you back...if I'm not too shy.