Sunday, October 29, 2006

Grace. What's With That?

Try as I might, I never really understand grace.

I know the definition and can parrot it off to anyone who wants to hear it. I've experienced grace first hand. But I don't understand it.

Rather than being thankful for the grace I'm given, I can't get past the guilt I suffer for having received it. Or the frustration I feel for being in the position of needing grace in the first place.

It seems to me that grace should make one free from feelings of guilt and frustration, but for me it only adds to my load.

However, at least I'm aware that I'm better off with grace than without it. But I'd still like to live a life free of guilt and frustration.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Shop Accidents

I was created with a brain for intelligence and reasoning, eyes to see, ears to hear; tongue, nose and neural pathways for taste, smell and touch. I was given a heart full of emotion with the Spirit to pull all these resources together and then some.

So why, even with all theses resources working at full capacity, am I still clueless? Why am I not able to accomplish more, understand more, be more? It’s as if I have a basement full of tools with no talent to repair or build anything. Though my plans are grand and my intentions are good, it seems all I do is have “shop accidents”.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Baby, It's Cold Outside

I turned my furnace on, yesterday.  Each year, I try to wait until November 1, but that doesn’t usually happen.  However, I think this year is the earliest it’s ever been turned on.

The deciding factor was when I woke up Saturday morning and the temperature in the house was 60 degrees.  Though tempted to turn the furnace on then, I held off thinking the house would warm up later in the day.  A few hours later, I checked the thermostat and found it was only 61 degrees.   The furnace was turned on minutes later.

Global warming???  Never in Erie!

Friday, October 06, 2006

An Attempt at Poetry

Here are my amateur thoughts on fall...

God empties His jewel box over the earth. The trees drip with precious stones...Rubies, amber, garnets and opals. He blesses us with the beauty of these gems.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Thoughts on Fall

Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree.”

-Emily Bronte

“Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all.”

-Stanley Horowitz

“The best is autumn. It is mature, reasonable and serious, it glows moderately and not frivolously…it cools down, clears up, makes you reasonable.”


“Autumn is a second spring, where every leaf is a flower.”

-Albert Camus

Sunday, October 01, 2006

It Warms a Miss Barb's Heart

My Barblings three made their Profession of Faith at church today and I was overtaken with emotion. All these years I've watched them watch me take communion. Now it was their turn to watch me watch them.

Barbling #3 was almost giddy with excitement. From the beginning of the Worship Service, Barbling #2 clutched her bulletin, with her finger on the spot where it announced the Profession of Faith - she was alert and prepared. Barbling #1 was pretty somber -partially because she wasn't feeling well, I found out later; but I'm sure the solemnity of the occasion struck her, as well.

I don't think the verse "Do this in remembrance of Me" ever had such an impact on me before. All the times I did so in remembrance of Him, their eyes were on me, watching my example. All at once I felt very frightened, thinking of all my missteps they've witnessed and the poor example I've been. But I was also proud and felt I had some part in them coming to this moment in their spiritual lives. I taught each one in Sunday School at some point. I've spent countless hours with them playing, chatting, praying, worshiping, and sometimes disciplining them. I know I'm not their parent, but I am their Miss Barb, and that counts for something, doesn't it?