Sunday, May 11, 2008

This Little Light (Bulb) of Mine

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only 1. Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal : 10. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic : None. Use candles only

Baptists: At least 100. One to change the light bulb, 55 to sing a spiritual about the light bulb and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken

Episcopalians : 3. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormon : 5. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians :We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we wil l explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid parts to luminescence.

Methodists : Undetermined**Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb , or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene : 6 One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans : None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish :What's a light bulb?

Post a Comment