Sunday, March 30, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
The images were amazing. I've had a number of ultrasounds before but never was I able to view things in this fine a detail. I saw my uterus, my one remaining ovary, and even a few eggs, which the technician said were "quite healthy looking".
Here I've got this vehicle that is inspected annually and certified to be in great working order yet it sits unused in the garage until next year's inspection. It seems like a waste and I can't think of any reason why God is allowing this to happen.
I can recall a number of biblical examples where someone was expected to do more than it seemed they were able (Moses vs Pharaoh, David vs Goliath, etc) but none where one was expected to do less.
There are many books and articles written for women who hear their "biological clocks ticking" but they're addressed to women who postponed motherhood for career. I didn't postpone anything; in fact it appears it hasn't even been postponed but denied.
Leading up to the exam, I actually hoped the doctor might find something wrong; this would have given me some reason for my single and barren state. Maybe I'd even have a fatal illness that would end all my emotional pain. While other women might be celebrating their confirmation of health, I'm confused and grieving the the children that never will be.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Daisy wasn't totally unhappy, though. She preferred to eat Dora's food so she got a bit of a treat there. And Dora preferred Daisy's food, so no one went hungry. In addition, since I have a fenced in yard, she was able to romp around in the snow unleashed.
A note to Mom & Dad: she did not jump on the furniture or sneak up the steps. Unlike Barblings 1-3, she maintained her good behaviour, despite the bad influence of Grace and Dora and the spoilings of Miss Barb.