Monday, January 28, 2013

Red Neck Grocery Shopping...

...or "Why I Shouldn't Buy Bras at the Same Store I Purchase Food"

I ran in to WalMart for a quick trip. I wanted to get my hair trimmed in the salon.  Once inside the store, I was told it would be a 45 minute wait so I decided to head home.  But while I was there, why not be efficient and pick up some Diet Coke?  Since I only had  one item to buy I didn't bother with a cart.  If I take a cart during these escapades I end up spending a small fortune; so in an effort to be frugal I abstained.

I was in a hurry so I took the diagonal short cut through Ladies clothing.  I passed a cute skirt (black a-line with a splashy white rose print) that was inexpensive.  I did a quick check and the size and the price were right so I took the hangar off the rack and proceeded towards the grocery section with my spontaneous acquisition.

A few rows later I saw some tights that might look good with the skirt but there were none in the right color or pattern so I refrained, proud of my budget discipline.  I then continued forward to the food, which was why I entered the store in the first place.  Because of some people standing in the aisle on my route, I had to detour.  I then found myself in the lingerie section.  In desperate need of bras and remembering that I'd found an inexpensive, utilitarian model a few months ago, I scanned the racks looking for the proper size that would support my rack.  I found it, grabbed it, and then speedily walked towards the food.  I was congratulating myself on my quick progress through the store. 

I grabbed my intended purchase (Diet Coke) and headed towards the checkout line purchases in hand, as I had wisely forgone a cart.  Again, due to shoppers, I was forced to take an especially circuitous route, this time through the grocery aisles.  Diet Coke and skirt weighed down my right hand at my side, while in my left was the new brassiere, moving in cadence with my step.  Back and forth, up and down the double-barrelled slingshot swung and bounced with abandon.  My speed and tempo was akin to a running back, dodging shoppers right and left, the checkout line my only goal.  The over-the-should-boulder-holder in hand, it brushed against a few shoppers.  Only when the ample, empty cups nearly collected a few canned goods off a shelf did I realize I had been swinging a bra all the way through WalMart!

Next time, I get a cart.

PS - In the "it could have been worse category" I had originally been eyeing up a (tasteful) black lace model but decided to be practical and bought the beige model instead.




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