Why is it called menoPAUSE?
It's not a Pause
but a click on the Stop button,
never to be restarted again. Ever.
When I was thirteen, You pushed the Start button
and the inward parts You formed ran like clockwork.
They waited for the day when they would be put to use.
Now, they are slowing down, soon to grind to a halt.
Ten years ago I was counseled by doctors
to press the Delete button.
I didn't. I couldn't.
I wonder now if I should have.
Would it have made things easier now?
A vacant womb,
Isn't this like hiding one's light under a bushel?
But You're the one hiding the light.
It's You who's in charge of this Dimmer switch.
You knit this body of mine
and have let me to sit untouched.
Batteries left inside, unused
have started to leak acid onto my heart.
The pain seems unbearable.
The Volume button keeps being pushed..
Louder and louder are the pleas from my soul.
Let me be used! Fix me!
Make me whole, as I'm supposed to be;
as I see so many other women around me!
The pain seems unbearable,
but it isn't.
You are faithful and do not let me be tempted
beyond my ability to withstand.
You provide the way of escape that I may endure.
For those who love You
all things work together for good
for those who are called
according to Your purpose.
And I have been called. Chosen, in fact.
This appliance that is me may be gathering dust here,
but in heaven, it's true intent will be accomplished.
You will press the Restart button
and my heart's deepest desires will be fulfilled
never to be Paused or Stopped.
Ever. For eternity.