Sunday, August 01, 2010

The Power of Powerlessness

When I was employed, Sundays were the hardest day of the week for me. It was the day when I was most alone, left to my own thoughts. It was the day when my feelings about those thoughts overwhelmed me and my emotions would rage out of control.

Now that I'm unemployed, virtually every day is Sunday, to this regard. Though I try to keep busy, there is still too much down time and my disatisfaction with my life, and my thoughts of failures past and present take over.

Today, on my way to church I was mulling over all my shortcomings, all my mistakes, all my sins and I was overcome by my powerlessness. I can never change the past. I can never make up for bad decisions I made throughout my 49 years. I will never be able to catch up to where I should be. And then God (gently) flicked me on the head (He does that to me sometimes) and said "AHA!" and I said in my most quiet, mouse-like voice "oh" (I do this with Him alot).

I AM powerless. My anguish comes when I think I actually have power. But I was created and adopted by God Almighty, who is NOT powerless. Not only is he NOT powerless, He IS most powerFUL. He is the only one able to actually keep the promises He makes and because of this, I can trust and truly hope in Him.

His promises weren't quitely communicated, either. He put them out there in His Word, for all the world to see and hear. He keeps His word; He doesn't have to worry about someone pointing out some flawed thinking or failure on His part. This is the one, true and perfect God here; not some fly-by-night philospher hawking self-help DVDs on TV.

A few verses come to mind:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil,to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights." James 1:17

"For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,and chastises every son whom he receives." Hebrews 12:6

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2Cor 12:9-10

All I need to do is remember all this tomorrow morning, when faced with the blank page that is my day.

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