I know the definition and can parrot it off to anyone who wants to hear it. I've experienced grace first hand. But I don't understand it.
Rather than being thankful for the grace I'm given, I can't get past the guilt I suffer for having received it. Or the frustration I feel for being in the position of needing grace in the first place.
It seems to me that grace should make one free from feelings of guilt and frustration, but for me it only adds to my load.
However, at least I'm aware that I'm better off with grace than without it. But I'd still like to live a life free of guilt and frustration.
2 comments:
I'm so glad that you shared these thoughts. I thought that I was the only one who felt this way.
I know exactly what you mean when you say that grace causes you to feel guilt and that it adds to the load.
I'm flying to Erie on December 9th. I'm sure that I'll see you sometime at FRC!
Carrie B-E
This might sound odd, but it just may be that you understand grace better than you think. It sounds like you understand that you certainly don't deserve it. And you understand that you certainly need it.
I think that all that's left is for you to say, 'Thank You', as you would for any other gift and then move on the the next thing, to enjoy the gift. Who receives a gift and then complains over and over again, 'Oh, I really don't deserve this. You're just too kind'? Good manners tells us to say, 'Thank you so much. This is such a great gift', and then just enjoy it. I think that works here too.
What do you think?
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