A 180-Degree Turn

In my post yesterday I wrote about how I witnessed the birth of baby goats. This morning I arrived at the barn earlier than usual to check on the three babies and I found them clean, warm, and well fed by their mama. When I went to another pen to feed the goats there I found one of the younger goats from that pen laying on her side, cold and seemingly not breathing. With trepidation, I entered the pen. I gently nudged the kid and felt her chest for any sign of life. There was none. I nudged her a few more times to make sure. The result was the same. She was dead.

It was a 180-degree turn from the amazement I'd felt yesterday. Still amazed today, it was because of the fragility of life. There was no sign of injury or illness. I guess it was just her time to leave this world. I messaged the couple who were handling the evening shift at the farm and they said there had been no sign of anything wrong the night before, so somewhere in the previous 12-14 hours death visited her and she followed.

Now came the hard part of informing my friends.  They are out of the country so when I messaged them I had to wait a bit for an answer. In the meantime, I had to move the dead goat out of the pen until I knew what to do with her permanently. I didn't want the other goats to do any damage to her body, and though I'm not sure about this, I think they understood that their pen-mate was gone.  I carried her small, limp body and gently laid her on the hay outside the pen. When they replied to my text I was instructed on where to place her, so once again I had to carry the dead body to the site until someone could come and take her to her final place.

I've witnessed death. I was with both my parents when they passed away and kissed each of them a final goodye. And I held each of my five dogs as they were put down. But I have never had to handle dead bodies. This was not my animal, and wasn't even a typical pet but "just" a farm animal. I had no emotional attachment to her so I don't feel any grief. But as I carried her - first from the pen and then to the porch area - I felt an immense sense of responsibility. As her caretaker, I was obliged to handle her with the respect due her as a being created by God and entrusted to me by her owners and her Creator.

In the Garden, God gave Adam and Eve, and by extension all of us, dominion over the all the animals of the earth; but dominion doesn't mean we have absolute control. Our authority over animals does not give us the right to abuse, disrespect, or dishonor their place as creatures of our mutual Creator. In having dominion over the animals, God delegated to us the right and the responsibility to care for his creation, just as he cares for us. In the gospels of Matthew and Luke, Jesus says the Father cares for the sparrows, so how much more does he care for us.  Psalm, 36:6 says "You, LORD, preserve both people and animals".

This week I've been tasked with dominion over my friends' animals. It has been my responsibilty to make sure they have food and water, and that they are secured in their pens. Yesterday I had the privilege to see some newborn kids only an hour or two old and to actually witness the birth of their youngest sibling. And this morning I had the responsibility and the privilege to escort this tiny goat, who's name I don't even know, towards her final resting place.  I gave her soft fur one last pet and a little scritch behind her ear. I appreciated the beauty of her coat, blocks of black and what looked to me like a latte-like brown with patches of white tossed in for good measure.

I've been caring for these animals for five days now and I don't recall noticing this little goat at all before; but I will notice her absence tomorrow. And now, I will remember her forever.

The G.O.A.T.

 

I'm helping some friends care for their various animals while they are out of town. They have dogs, cats, chickens, ducks, and goats.  One goat, Tilly was due to deliver  her kids on October 1, before they left; but apparently baby goats are just as hard to predict as human babies, and Tilly was still quite preganant as of October 6. 

When I arrived for this morning's feedings (10/7) my co-farmworker, Stacy and I saw that Tilly had delivered two kids sometime during the night and was in the process of delivering a third.  It was an amazing experience to witness the birth of this tiny being, and though goats have been delivering kids for many millenia, for me I felt as if I was witnessing a miracle. While delivering kid #3 she was simultaneously cleaning #2 while  #1 was trying to nurse. No one ever taught these animals how to give birth, clean or nurse. They knew instinctively what they wanted and needed to do. It was built in to how they were created. While only humans were made in the image of God, that doesn't mean we can't grow to know Him more through bits of His creation.

The heavens declare the glory of God, and the expanse proclaims the work of his hands. Day after day they pour out speech; night after night they communicate knowledge. There is no speech; there are no words; their voice is not heard. Their message has gone out to the whole earth, and their words to the ends of the world.

Psalm 19: 1-4  

There is much to be learned about God by "touching grass"; by spending time with and reflecting on His creation. Just as one can gain insight in to the minds of daVinci and Hemingway by pondering their works, we can get to know more of who God is by spending time with His creation.

I was born and raised in the inner city, but I am not so much a city girl as to not know that bacon comes from pigs, hamburger comes from cows, and the chicken I like so much comes from...well, chickens. I've visited farms and petting zoos, listened to farming friends talk about their animals. However, this was the first time I've ever cared for and interacted with farm animals to this extent.

As I've thought about the farm work I've been doing this week  I realized this was a taste of what Adam and Eve experienced in the Garden, and a bit of what life will be like on the New Earth. I've often thought about what work I will do on the New Earth once Jesus returns.  There won't be any need for healthcare so my occupation procuring medical supplies will not be needed. So what career options will I have? I've always  figured I'd work with dogs and cats; maybe work in the kitchen baking bread or pies. After this week, my options have expanded and I think I'd like to work with goats. In the process I will know even better that God is the One and only G.O.A.T.

Kid #1 I named Sunshine because I've been singing to Mama Tilly "You Are My Sunshine"

This is Kid #2 - "Skunk" named for his coloring and in keeping with the music theme, named after Guitarist Jeff "Skunk" Baxter who played with Steely Dan and the Doobie Brothers.

Kid #3 I named "Sloopy" for the song "Hang on Sloopy"

First and Lasts and Everything in Between: A Eulogy for My Dad

My dad died Februay 7, 2025. This is what I shared at his memorial service.

John "Ed" Best

September 9, 1929 - February 7, 2025

 In the Fall of 1957, my brother, Bruce entered first grade.  Determined to be the best father (no pun intended) and active in his son’s education, he attended his first PTA meeting.  When he arrived and saw how few fathers were in attendance, he went home and never attended another PTA meeting again.  UNTIL, Spring of 1979, the final PTA meeting of my Senior Year of High School.

That evening, my dad accompanied my mom because she was in charge of refreshments that night and he was there to help her. I was there because they were honoring the Seniors. My dad did the usual dad stuff of moving chairs, carrying trays. He did the heavy lifting. But he was being his most personable and charming self in the process.  At the end of the meeting he helped clean up and was in the kitchen with the nuns washing dishes, telling jokes. They were charmed. One remarked “Oh, Mr Best, if only we had more fathers like you who came to these meetings!”.  My mother did a slow burn!!! The ride home was very quiet.

Daddy was there for many firsts - first days of school, first lost teeth (which he probably yanked from our mouths), first birthdays, first communions.  He and my mom even drove 4 hours to be there for the birth of their first grandchild, Bruce’s son, Ed.  And there was the time of my first car accident. He drove my mom up from Pittsburgh to see for themselves that I was ok. They spent the night at my apartment, saw me off to work the next day, and drove back to Pittsburgh.  They were in Erie less than 12 hours!

He was there for some lasts, too. High School and College graduations for his children and grandchildren. Bruce and my retirement parties. And he was there for the last breath of his wife, our mom.

Firsts and lasts stand out; they frame a life like the easier pieces of a jigsaw puzzle; but really, it’s the thousands of moments that fall in between that fit together and display the complete and more accurate, a more beautiful picture of a person’s life. And when that person lives to be 95, its more like tens of thousands of puzzle pieces!  Moments like the whole family piled on the couch watching TV, family dinners, school picnics, backyard picnics, holiday celebrations, sitting on the side of the road while he changed a flat tire.  Trips to Dairy Queen, which were rare and so very special; walks around the Highland Park Reservoir, camping trips. For a rib-achingly funny story, afterwards go see my Aunt Joan, Uncle Tom, Aunt Nancy, or nephew Chris and ask them to tell you about a certain canoe trip during a camping vacation to Cook’s Forest!

A little over 2000 years ago a religious scholar tried to test Jesus. As relayed in the Gospel of Luke, the scholar tried to test Jesus by asking him who exactly was his neighbor that he had to love like himself. This scholar wanted to get it right but didn’t want to overextend himself. Jesus responded with the story of the Good Samaritan. Daddy understood the instructions. He was a Good Samaritan.

It didn’t matter to him your faith, your nationality, your education, your political affiliation - if you needed something he could provide, it was yours. He gave away countless homegrown vegetables, canned goods, paper products, coupons. Friends and neighbors would get strange refund checks in the mail for products they’d never purchased because he’d bought ten (on double coupon day, of course) and submitted ten separate refunds - but it was only one per household so he sent them to anyone he could think of.

We lived on your average Pittsburgh hills. I say I grew up on a hill on top of a hill. Bruce, Jean, Cassie, and I really DID walk uphill to school both ways!  Up Rosetta Street, down Rosetta Street, down Graham, over Broad Street to Saint Lawrence School - and then the reverse for the trip home. On rainy days my dad would pick us up and drive us home - us and 5 or six other neighborhood kids; all of us piled in to the car with our bookbags. He gave total strangers rides up the hill. One time I mentioned I was praying for him and he said “Barb, don’t bother. I was just blessed a hundred times over. I gave couple of ladies a ride up the hill with their groceries and all they kept saying was “Thank you Jesus! Bless this man! Thank you Jesus!’”

Having him here in Erie the past two years was a blessing. We were able to provide him with some of his firsts - his first taste of Mighty Fine donuts, his first Romolo’s Meltaway candy, his first trip to Panos’ and the White Turkey restaurants…hmmm, there’s a theme there.

He was there for the firsts, lasts, and thousands of in betweens. And I feel I can speak for my siblings when I say we were honored to be able to care for him in his final months. We were able to give back to him what he had demonstrated for us. And we thank you for being here for us as we say goodbye this last time.

Marcellus and Micah

Marcellus Williams was executed in Missouri yesterday. For those unfamiliar with the story, Williams was convicted in 2001 for a murder for which he said he was innocent.  The current St Louis prosecuting attorney sought to have Williams death sentence vacated on grounds of potential "ineffective assistance of counsel", apparent bias in jury selection, and potential weakness of the police investigation. He asked the Court for a hearing to consider the new evidence and other aspects of the investigation and trial." The victim's family also thought Williams should not be executed, given doubts about Williams' guilt. Yet, multiple courts, including the Supreme Court of the United States denied to stay the execution, and the governor of Missouri refused clemency.

I don't know of the religious leanings of the various judges who denied the stay of execution; but the person with the final earthly authority over Williams' life, the Governor of Missouri, Mike Parsons is a professing Christian. 

As I was thinking about Marellus this morning, the verse Micah 6:8 came to mind:

He has told you, O man, what is good;

And what does the Lord require of you

But to do justice, to love mercy,

And to walk humbly with your God?

In fact, some of the themes of the book of Micah are ones of judgement and forgiveness, and the accountability of leaders for their injustice.

This post is not meant to provoke a discussion on opposition or support of the death penalty in general. This addresses one case, one person - Marcellus Williams, and how his treatment by leaders was not in accordance with this Scripture.

It seems the judges and justices who opposed the stay of execution, and Governor Mike Parson in particular did not heed God's instruction "He has told you, O man, what is good...". Micah made a pretty direct statement! Everyone had the same information - the questionable evidence, the prosecutor's concerns regarding the original case, Felicia Gayle's family's doubts; yet, they still proceeded with the execution. They did not do what was required of them. Their decison was not merciful, and while I cannot peer in to their hearts, I do not think they demonstrated humility. There did not seem to be any question in their minds that the original verdict could be wrong.

More importantly, justice was not served for Marcellus; and definietely not for Felicia Gayle or her family who have to live with the thought Felicia's killer is still free. 

Judges and jurors have a huge burden, especially in death penalty cases. They literally hold life and death in their hands drafting opinions or completing juror ballots. It is not something I would ever want to face; these people deserve our prayers for wisdom. But beyond wisdom, they need humility.  The jurors in the original case did their jobs based on the evidence they were presented. But in subsequent appeals, judges had many opportunites and much time to reevaluate the original case and review new evidence but it seems humility never entered the picture. They seemed to just rubber stamp the prior conviction. Certainly it is a serious matter to overturn a conviction, but when the prosecutor and the victim's family support commutation of the sentence, that should be strongly considered.

Missouri Governor Mike Parson had more time than anyone else to consider the details of the case. And as a professing Chrisitan he had the Holy Spirit to advise him. He still came to a concusion that lacked humilty, mercy, and justice. 

Micah had stern warning for the leaders of Israel that they risked God ignoring them if they ignored justice and mercy. While Governor Parson is not a leader of Israel, he is a Christian leader, and I believe Christians are held to a higher moral standard. Micah says God requires justice, mercy, and humility of Believers. Certainly, there is grace for our failures, but grace also enables us to do the right thing. 

Despite the grace of God, the legal system and the State of Missouri failed Marcellus Williams and Felicia Gayle. May God have mercy on their souls that they may realize their error and seek His forgiveness.  

 Right now, Black Cake is my favorite book of the year.  Considering its only mid-March, that’s not saying much; except I’ve read 8 book so far this year so #1 of 8 carries some weight. Black Cake is also the best novel I’ve read in the last six months (#1 of 13) and the second-best book of all books from the last six months (#2 of 17).

Without revealing any spoilers, Black Cake is the story of a young woman, estranged from her family, reunited with her brother at her mother’s funeral and at the hearing of their mother’s oral will. In her statements, mom reveals a lot of her family history, with many surprises for her children. A story like many others; yet there are some things that set it apart from the standard fare.

The plot was good, the characters interesting, the dialogue well-written.  Overall, I enjoyed the book. But it was after I’d finished the book and thought a bit about it that I came to appreciate its excellence and it quickly rose to the top of my Favorites list.

Black cake is essentially a Caribbean fruit cake. Its ingredients include some Caribbean staples like sugar from sugar cane, allspice, nutmeg, and rum. However, it also includes items with European origin, like currants and port wine, and cinnamon from Asia. Some of these ingredients found their way to the Caribbean through immigration, slavery, and colonization.

Wilkerson’s story covers multiple continents and countries; multiple cultures, races, and generations; multiple timelines. Upon reflection, I realized the author had concocted her own Black Cake with her novel. And that is very skillful writing! Combining all these elements could have easily resulted in an unpalatable mush. But in Wilkerson’s hands, all these elements blended into an extraordinary dessert.

I’m not a fan of fruit cake, so it’s doubtful I would like to eat Black Cake, but I devoured the novel and recommend you taste it, as well.

BOOK REVIEW: Where the Crawdads Sing

 

Photo by Mikołaj on Unsplash

I had heard much about Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens since it was first published in 2018, and even more so recently, as the movie was released. Many people whose opinions I respect highly recommended this book, so I moved it to the top of my “To Read” list and invested an Audible credit.

Set in the North Carolina tidal marshes, Owens’ description of the area and its flora and fauna are beautifully written. I was transported to the region, my senses engaged by her lush descriptions. From her Wikipedia biography I learned Owens is originally from Georgia and North Carolina, and has a degree in zoology, so she was obviously in her element when describing the setting.

The rest of the story, however, left me wanting. The characters had potential, but never fully developed past flat “teen romance” stereotypes. The story shifts between time periods, from when the principal characters are young children to their young adulthood. However, their dialogue does not really change. It is formal, stilted, and not consistent with the age and education of the characters.

I found the plot nothing more than average, with certain aspects not believable. Authors more skilled in plot development might have been able to advance the story better, but Owens was never able to suspend my disbelief or develop any interest or concern for the characters.

Sense of Direction

                                                                                Photo by David Marcu on Unsplash

If I followed my heart, I would be hopelessly lost. I would be adrift on a sea of emotion; impossibly off course in a dense forest of overthinking; stranded on a mountaintop of daydreams and unfinished projects.

Much has been written in Christian publishing and the blogosphere about the dangers of following your heart. I suspect this was in response to the common advice from best-selling authors, Instagram influencers, and trite memes to do just that - follow your heart. But this advice swung the pendulum far to the opposite side instead of encouraging the equilibrium position, the balance of thought and feeling.

Though operating purely on emotion is dangerous, the heart itself is not all bad. Mine has led me to some beautiful vistas – treasured friendships, a job I enjoy, and some mighty fine dogs. On the other hand, my heart has also led me to some not so wise decisions - a broken heart, poor financial and health choices, and more than a few bad haircuts!

The heart is a good travelling companion, but a lousy compass.

Still, our hearts and emotions are God-given. They are a part of His image which He breathed into us at Creation. Throughout His Word, there are instances of how God governs with mind and His heart.

Examples of His anger and wrath come quickly to mind, such as Jesus upsetting tables and driving the moneychangers from the temple in John 2:15-16, or God's wrath turned upon Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis 19.

There are also a number of images of God's tender care for His people:

"As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you..." (Isaiah 66:13) 

"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!" (Isaiah 29:15)

Jesus said "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!" (Matthew 23:37) 

Song of Solomon is filled with passion as example of the love Christ has for his church!

And let us not forget "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16). And of course, "Jesus wept" (Johns 11:35).

We have the same emotions as God. They are not a part of our humanity separate from God, but a part of Him that He has given to us! The difference is when He follows His heart, it is always wise, judicious, and with perfect control. One need only follow news reports and social media to see that is not the case with man.

So, how can a person follow their heart within godly parameters? 

Following are a few suggestions:

1.     Pray for wisdom

This might seem obvious, but it is often overlooked. We tend to pray for God to get us out of a tough situation after we have made a poor decision. But we might avoid the unwise decision entirely if we pray first.

 James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

2.     Look to God’s Word for direction

If your heart is leading you somewhere that does not line up with the Bible, do not follow it! Your decisions should not contradict Scripture. Martin Luther said, “You should not believe your conscience and your feelings more than the word which the Lord who receives sinners preaches to you.”

3.     Seek advice of friends and family

Proverbs advises “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”  (Prov 15:22) Seeking advice from others draws on their knowledge, wisdom, and experience, so we do not have to go it alone. These are also people who know you and can encourage you or help you avoid some pitfalls. We were created to live in community, and this includes seeking help.

Following our hearts based solely on our own desires and “gut feelings” is like following a GPS that has not had its maps updated in a few years. It can lead us to unknown and unseen dangers and heartaches. Using the resources God has given us – His wisdom, His Word, His people – we can travel life with confidence He is leading us in the right direction.